Just finished reading Melody Fairchild’s and Elizabeth Cary’s book, Girls Running; I recommend it if you are intrigued by the topic of developing female distance runners or have one in your life.
This conversation is way overdue. As I review my own experiences and relationships with other athletes on my journey in this sport, I have found some common misconceptions about female athletes that are flat out unhelpful and unnecessary at their best and most often just plain harmful.
Although this sport has been so kind to me, I had to learn some lessons from reading, listening, and reflecting on other athletes in my sport. With this, I myself can say I have a few stories about unhealthy running experiences due to undue expectations and pressures.
Looking back, I survived just fine, but maybe it could have need better during my later high school and all of my collegiate years! The difference is I learned to change some funny thinking that would have enabled me to find the level of joy and success in my running a lot sooner.
Noticing now, how taboo some of the assumptions were that I adopted from my sports culture including running magazines, books, and even some adults guiding me.
For an athlete like myself, I was willing to do whatever it took to improve, like so many, but some of these traditional thoughts about what equates to success in my sport were not only harming my performance but my overall quality of life.
I was undefeated my junior year of cross country - it was so much fun having all the positive attention surrounding me and college coaches coming to see me do my favorite thing!
But, by the time the state meet came around and I was out in front winning the whole thing by over a minute- I collapsed 100m from the finish line and crawled my lifeless body across the line in 44th.
What happened?
Maybe it was the pressure of meeting the world’s expectations consequently turning my playground into a dreaded death march?
Maybe it was the competitive attitude that I needed to dominate my competition instead of looking at these other girls with care and gratitude. Seeing them as they are: my playmates who showed up shoulder to shoulder to me push me to my next level - minus the distrust, hate, power, or domination.
Maybe it was a tiny bird telling my developing teenage body and brain that leaner, less hip, smaller legs meant faster so I wasn't fueling properly.
Maybe it was the absence of team bonding and unity-feeling ostracized from the other girls on my team since I joined Cross Country only a year prior and was receiving much media attention as the local phenom. And was in a whole separate dorm my freshman year in college.
Maybe ALL OF THE ABOVE. At no one's fault, it was the culture, what we knew, with the resources we had.
But with time, experience, and a voice, maybe I can help one kid, team, mom, dad, or coach on how to best motivate, support, and educate your amazing developing female athlete.
NUMBER ONE: Love your teammates and competition - be grateful you have these girls to play with and to push you to greater levels. Be fierce and unrelenting with yourself and I've heard that females perform better in support than in cut downs. Your own growth. Wish that your teammate and competition brings 100 effort so that you can be challenged to reach that next level. Understand that some days your 100 is going to be 60 and your teammates 100 is going to be 90 and vice versa. What I mean is, we are not at 100 everyday. Life brings each kid, adult, human different problems, challenges, fin, experiences, stress, whatever at different times.
Number TWO: Honor one thing: Did I give 100% effort to what my mind and body has today for the purpose of TODAY'S workout? If yes, then you won! You can't control all the other stuff. Today I am soooooo at 30, but you better believe I'm bringing 100 percent of my effort to the 30 for today. Tomorrow will be something new! Knowing this, kids will perform well at some competitions and not so well at others.
Number THREE: Stay calm, carry on! Keep showing up, and embrace what each day gives you with your best version. You are not supposed to PR every practice. EACH PRACTICE SERVES A PURPOSE. Listen to your coach. Trust the process. Stay calm. So simple.
NUMBER FOUR: TEAM bonding, having fun together, not taking so serious all the time is so important. Your real competition is You against You. When speaking on gender specifics: Females are not little males. Many- not all- are different. For me as a female, I want connection, care, AND to kick ass - I want to kick my former selves ass though...But we can work together to do that! You may kick your former selves butah today or next week, it’s not up to me if Im giving my effort, which is why I keep showing back up.
NUMBER FIVE: Whatever you are doing- be in that moment. If you are in Math class. Be totally present in Math class. If you are at practice, stay in practice. No phones, no worries about yesterday or later- just be in the moment!
So, my next passion project will focus on what I wish I knew as a developing young athlete and getting this information out to my community. So stay tuned for some upcoming projects:
-All Female Endurance Camp (3 sessions- ranging from 6-Collegiate Level)
-Blogs about Female specific running questions and topics
-Virtual Clinic with a panel of FEMALE experts on topics ranging from Empowering females through talk, proper fueling and relationship with food, meeting the developing athletes strength needs, understanding the process of puberty in developing female athletes, addressing injury and prevention, along with some talented coaching staff to share what works for them.
STAY TUNED!
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