WARNING: STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS POST

WARNING: STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS POST HA!

*forgive me; I will edit later- but the relevance is important

So many of us raced this weekend: 2 New York City Marathon finishers, 3 Indianapolis Full Marathon finishers, 1 Indianapolis Half Marathon finisher, 2 St. Louis Half Marathon finishers, 3 5k finishers around town, and many had race specific workouts that required A LOT of guts!

So I know I am not alone in my running brain and thought processes because anyone who achieves one of the above goals knows the ebs and flows of a running relationship and life; yet we may lose touch of perspective on the big picture- even the elites!

Fall 2019-2020 lots of AMAZINGLY tough hard training - zero races to show for it

Fall 2020 - popped one great race - more hard training - zero races to show for it

Fall 2021 - still digging in my heels and hard training - zero races to show for it

Obviously, I needed to take a long hard look in the mirror and figure my NEW reality - because nothing is ever constant - there is never one way-fix or method-and once we figure it out - things change- ha!

But, the one thing that doesn't change - my ability to keep getting back up and trying something else within my new normal.

I could quit and be bitter or I can look at it as a fun, silly experiment- maybe a way to help others who are going through the peaks and troughs that are running.

FALL 2022.

I actually ran my 3 favorite local races: Miles for Meso, Go! St. Louis 10k, St. Louis Track Club’s half marathon- and number four (hope I am not jinxing myself) The Turkey Trot!!.

I did this without running 90 miles a week- ha! More like 25 at most.

I did not PR in any of them.

BUT, I felt GREATER JOY and satisfaction than in any Fall racing season I have ever had. This, at the age of 40 (hey, I know I'm still young but in running years I'm equivalent to like a 100 year old lol). Finally, recognizing that running is very different than when I was 10, 16, 20, 30, even 37 ha!)after battling many health issues the past couple years, and that what it will look like in my 50s, 60s, 70s, 80, 90s will all be a new, fun surprise to unwrap!

I can't help sometimes to reminisce- and I earned this mind play- ha! That nothing beats spring 2012- 3 course records, an Olympic Marathon Trials Race, and personal bests in the 5k, 10k, half, marathon-geez that was fun!

I'm telling you this in the hope you can perhaps relate to your own “2012” running season where everything was wonderful and perfect and blah blah- ha! Just kidding, I want you to remember how wonderful those experiences were in your running career-

I don't want you to constantly be judging YOU to pass the former "You" in order to feel you are progressing. The point is not really in the numbers- yes us runners love numbers - but nobody knows your current status- sometimes YOU don't even know what is causing you stress, sleeplessness, health issues, so you have to accept it and take action to progress in that way. Start putting your energy on progress and before you know it- that feeling of “2012” WILL be back! Maybe not by the numbers but better and more real - by the feeling!

And the gift is that I get to relive that and feel that feeling whenever I want- as long as I am not viewing it in a "standard" to be met in my current situation: This is sure to stop a lifelong (any )runner in her tracks!

Can you imagine if I had to “beat” this standard for the rest of my career? Yah right?! I'm ok with that. I can now live in each season, moment. Be a bit ore playful while still flexing my competitive muscles!

Instead, I am proud of myself.

This may not seem like a big deal to some, but for me, it was validation that I can continue to be competitive and feel the sting of pushing my body and mind for as long as I desire.

The secret (which really was never a secret…I just needed to learn a new way) is that one's running life is constantly evolving- we are all chasing that PEAK performance and feeling, and we want it when we want it -how we want it - ha!

Running Is Not A Sport of Instant Gratification

A Running Relationship can be one the greatest Gifts in Life.

Like a marriage, the longer you work through the kinks, the more gifts to unwrap you never thought possible.

These gifts are not material- they are perspective, love, joy, contentment, and unfortunately ha! With most things in life-the greatest gems come from struggles, self doubt, sickness, injury.

If you stay in this relationship long (even sticking with her through the hard times doing all the “things” she needs you to take care of with your health in order to get her back” You will enjoy more and more of these gifts.

How does one feel self actualization, strength, love, and an immensely grateful heart amongst such a troubling time in our world? Let's start to find these gifts.

To whoever needs to hear this: Just start. Keep showing up, don't take no for an answer. Be honest. Calm down and fly: there is a huge group of us out here who see you and care about you! Join us- on the roads, the track, or on the trail- heck even the treadmill. Give a smile, a wave, we are runners.

The problem arises when we have a timeline that our body, lifestyle, and mind do not align. And, well, hard things happen, like injury, stress, self doubt, and sometimes we feel like maybe running just isn't for us anymore- it has hurt us too much- when in fact, running is the very thing that forces us to look at the core of ourselves and heal in these individual matters.

Running not only enhances ones life; Running literally saves lives.

But let me give you perspective: If running were easy, everyone would do it.

If running were easy, then that feeling of elation, accomplishment, and self efficacy would disappear.

If running gave you everything you wanted when you wanted it, you might disappear altogether- ha!

Seriously though, remember, when you are in a long battle with injury, compulsive behaviors, or just unhealthy habits that are keeping you stuck and perpetuating the narrative in your mind that you will never heal, that your body is strong, it can and will heal, it will get stronger, IF, you are open enough to see the changes that need to be made to get you to your goal -

EVEN IF ITS NOT WHAT YOU ARE USED TO DOING.

If you do this, even when you mess up and have hard days, but you are determined not to let the lies that running isn't for you or you are too old or that you should just stop-

Then.....Then you will find ANOTHER gift.

You will find the gift again and again and again. And when these treasures come, stay in the moment and feel all the proud feels. Flex your mental muscle and see the progress.

And have common sense: don't expect to immediately start running as fast and far as you once did in a couple months- ha! I wish! This will get you hurt or discouraged again, and you will have to start over until you learn to accept the effort and where you are currently but of course knowing where you want to go (even if its in the back of your mind) but leave it there for now.

STAY IN THE PRESENT. If you get too far ahead, you may start making overzealous, judgmental, reactive decisions that will put you back months.

Trust your body and mind, show up and do the work, get honest with your need for recovery (everyones is different) and if you want to “BE tough” well, the toughness isn't in destroying yourself everyday; It's showing up everyday to the intention of each run.

In other words, if you're running a standard number miles -a tad too fast -everyday- this is probably causing you to be tired for your HARD or Long race specific workouts, so then do not expect to run the race you “think” you should be able to run.

You have to “do the training” in order to “do the training”:

Stay at the boring bottom of the mountain and build your base and load first. This is not glamourous.

Some think, I can't increase my mileage because I get hurt. I don't believe this is true. I believe this runner is not running easy enough while building gradually over. a span of 12 or so weeks without any speed work.

Don't be afraid to slow down on these base building runs and jun aerobic without a lot of muscle break down and I bet you avoid injury. After a gradual increase of weeks, then adding in some interval, pace work that is appropriate for your big goal. Avoid coming back and running too fast- your focus is building load and aerobic capacity which doesn't require a super high heart rate! Relax. When you push the limits while at the base of the mountain while trying to build a base- avoid muscle break down as much as possible and just keep accumulating volume. Spend 8-12 weeks with slow miles, show up! Then, Then add some race specific stuff. On the other hand, if you are someone who has been training for a long time, maybe throwing in a 6-12 week of 5k focus just to wake up that system.

It's all about targeting the correct and sometimes different the pathways, paying particular attention to specific pathways the closer you get to your big goal.

But first, First, this means, you have to show up to the boring aerobic and recovery runs consistently- stop skipping these and going straight for the gullet! ha!

Then, Then, you CAN HEALTHILY actually TRAIN. If you do not care about running a certain time- that’s great too!

Just keep showing up with breaks and self love. Have a blast and get ready (when you least expect it-ha!) to fly out there effortlessly with a smile!